When personal development and self help gurus talk about choosing happiness, they make it sound easy. The conventional wisdom typically goes something like this: If you’re not happy, well then start doing what makes you happy. Start making changes to improve your happiness right now.<\/p>\n
But happiness is not black and white, there is plenty of grey area in there. Happiness is not an absolute. There is not a point you get to and find out you’re suddenly happy, and most likely, if you’re unhappy, it didn’t happen suddenly – it’s probably been brewing a while. Happiness is a constant, living, breathing work in progress.<\/p>\n
I have spent more time that I would like lately thinking about this topic. And I have questions… How much happiness is “enough”? At what point does being “mostly happy” become not enough that you need to make a change? Should you suffer through periods of unhappiness if they are circumstancial, if there is a possibility that it will be better in the long term? If so, for how long? And perhaps the most difficult question to answer: How do you decide to improve your own happiness when it negatively affects another’s happiness, especially when it’s someone you care deeply about? <\/p>\n
All the self help out there seems to focus on I<\/strong>. Am I<\/strong> happy? But what happens when I<\/strong> is really us<\/strong>? Where is the line drawn, and how do you negotiate that? Is it ever noble to sacrifice your own happiness for someone else, or for the benefit of us<\/strong>? And if it is, then how long is it fair to prolong a degree of your own happiness in the present, while waiting for our<\/strong> happiness tomorrow?<\/p>\n I do believe that it is acceptable to prolong your own happiness or suffer for a bit if it will come around in the end both people. I believe that is what compromise is all about, and I’ve done it often. But I have often wondered if perhaps too much. Knowing that a part of you is suffering to make someone you care deeply about be a better or happier person can be a powerful thing. Knowing you are making a sacrifice to hopefully create a stronger us<\/strong> is something that everyone who’s ever been in a relationship knows something about.<\/p>\n But that sacrifice can be a fine line. It is slippery and needs to be carefully monitored. At some point you need to step back and consider I<\/strong> again.<\/p>\n And that is a very difficult thing to do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When personal development and self help gurus talk about choosing happiness, they make it sound easy. The conventional wisdom typically goes something like this: If you’re not happy, well then start doing what makes you happy. Start making changes to improve your happiness right now.<\/p>\n But happiness is not black and white, there is plenty of grey area in there. Happiness is not an absolute. There is not a point you get to and find out you’re suddenly happy, and most likely, if you’re unhappy, it didn’t happen suddenly – it’s probably been brewing a while. Happiness is a constant, living, breathing work in progress.<\/p>\n I have spent more time that I would like lately thinking about this topic. And I have questions… How much happiness is “enough”? At what point does being “mostly happy” become not enough that you need to make a change? Should you suffer through periods of unhappiness […]<\/p>\n